Being a Homeschool owner and a teacher of many years I often have to deal with separation anxiety in toddlers and I am constantly asked for tips on how to deal with it. Hence I decided to write about it and it seems like a great come back post after a long break from blogging.
Separation anxiety is a normal stage of development in toddlers. Their understanding of the world and people is very limited, so they often feel uncomfortable and insecure when being separated from their parents even for few minutes. They also don’t have any understanding of time spans and follow their biological clock and intuition to differentiate times of the day. So don’t be surprised that when you just disappear from their sight they suddenly start crying – they just feel disoriented and lost.
Separation anxiety is also normal when you leave your toddler with a caretaker or at daycare with people she doesn’t know yet. It takes a child some time to get used to new environment, people, and develop a similar feeling of trust and safety as she feels in her own home.
More over, separation anxiety exists in every culture. Even if the whole village brought up your child, when she is separated from the familiar people she will experience some degree of it.
Here are some tips that will help your toddler with separation anxiety:
1. Pick your child up early in the first week of daycare. It is very reassuring for children. You can start by picking her up after a few hours the first day, gradually increasing the time of stay to half or full day.
2. A quick goodbye is a good option. If your child is not paying attention to you while you are saying goodbye, it is ok! There is no need to make sure she sees you leaving. Being absorbed into the new environment is one of the best cures for separation anxiety.
3. When your child’s teachers offer to schedule a home visit to see your child in her environment, do agree to that and make it as soon as possible! It is one of the founding stones of trust between your child and the new caretaker as young children often associate visitors in their own environment as someone they could trust.
4. Bringing a blanket, a pillow, or a favourite toy to daycare is a good way of allowing the child to have familiar things around.
5. Talk to your child about her day. Even if she doesn’t speak yet you can look at some pictures from the daycare together, pointing out teachers and friends, naming them and observing your child’s reaction.
6. Be consistent and don’t give in easily. Have faith in your child’s ability to adapt. Loving and caring caregivers will surely win your child over. You just need to give your little one some time to build a strong bond with them.
7. Make sure to communicate any changes in behaviour at home with your child’s teachers. Working together with the caregivers is important – there should always be feedback from both sides in order to assist your child in a better way.
I hope these tips were helpful. Separation anxiety shouldn’t be dismissed. It can be overcome with lots of loving confirmations, reassurance, and keeping promises.